asheself:

mothafickle:

mothafickle:

What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe

image

205,912 notes

michaxl:

you dont like the word breast??? ok we’re having chicken boobs for dinner

(Source: michaxl)

267,083 notes

rneerkat:

studmuffin2014:

rneerkat:

i cant believe that bacteria would just intrude into my body without my permission. that makes me sick.. 

It does make you sick. Literally.

wow ha ha ur right i shouldve made this into a joke!!

(Source: rneerkat)

355,390 notes

femharry:

i will always assume indirects are about me. you could make a post/tweet like “ugh i hate that you raised me this way” and i’d be like i’m sorry i shouldn’t have done that

(Source: getsby)

123,107 notes

unclefather:

theskeetman:

if you have nothing good to say say it

i hate stuart little and i don;t think he deserved 3 movies

(Source: unit03)

80,452 notes

bynesexual:

iwishihadafather:

bynesexual:

iwishihadafather:

i know a really good knock knock joke but you have to start it

ok, knock knock?

who’s there?

image

58,744 notes

gnarly:

the older I get, the more I understand squidwards anger

279,837 notes